Our guest blogger, Keadren Petrone, gives advice about how to write about grief, from her experience losing her husband in earlier this year.
by Adam G. Fleming
When I began writing, it was not because I thought I’d be writing a book. I had just lost my husband and the grief was immense. There were so many feelings going on and so many things happening around me. Unsure of what to do with all of it, I decided to write down my thoughts and emotions because I suspected it would be cathartic. I vented about various things that came to my mind, realizing that many others may have the same thoughts and may benefit from knowing that someone else has thought similarly. Some of it was real, some of it was raw, and some of it was quite random. Before I knew it, my writings resonated with people as I shared it on social media.
Now I’m more than thirty posts in, and writing a book. Some of you may desire to write a book about your grief experience but you’re not sure where to start. Makes sense, right? I mean, grief can be so overwhelming. There is such a vast array of emotions, and it can seem too big a task to tackle. I’d like to share some key points that I have discovered as I have written about grief from my personal experience.
It’s so easy to believe that your story won’t matter or that no one will care. Every story matters, my friend, especially yours. If you feel the urge to write, then do it. It doesn’t have to be pretty or perfect, it only requires your heart. Grief comes in so many layers. It is vast and relentless and bittersweet in so many ways. It’s hard and scary and everyone goes through it on some level. Inevitably, what you write will impact someone else and suddenly that person will feel less alone because of you. Your experience will touch others and sharing it may be incredibly healing for you. So yes, your story matters. The sooner you believe that it does, the easier it will be to share it.
Once I set the goal to write a book, I started doing my best to set a small goal for myself—I’d write one post a week. That small goal was doable, not the least bit overwhelming, and kept me moving forward in my grief process. As I moved along in this discipline, I also discovered that sometimes I would write more spontaneously directly from my heavy heart. I also noticed that sometimes the spontaneous posts resonated just as much, or more, with the disciplined weekly writings. It was an intriguing discovery that got me to realize that there will be times when I will write from disciplined goals and also from a more raw and spontaneous space. It was really important to give myself permission to do both. It’s ok to have more than one writing style and to incorporate practicing each. Limiting yourself only limits your gifts.
Remaining authentic can feel so challenging. At times, we can get so caught up in gaining an audience that we lose pieces of our true process without realizing it. Continue to honor yourself by showing up AS you and nothing else BUT you! When you remain loyal to yourself, your journey, and your experiences, you will be able to write effortlessly and authentically with consistency and heart. People are starving for realness and vulnerability. Hold authenticity in the palm of your hand and protect it wildly. It’s the very thing that will keep your writing a reflection of your journey and it’s also the very thing that will grow your audience and build your tribe (without even trying).
My friend, don’t be afraid to write your story. There is something powerful within you that can profoundly touch the lives of others. The world needs you. So write. Write with the belief that your story matters, give yourself permission to write in more than one way, and always stay true to your heart.
Keadren Petrone, July 26, 2023
Guest blogger Keadren Petrone is a prophetic healing activator, certified coach, speaker and educator. Her husband died in January, 2023. She is keeping it real and working on her first book. Victory Vision Publishing would like to thank her for sharing her tips.